


The Thing About Karolina

by Freerangeegghead



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/F, romcom adaptation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:02:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22966093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freerangeegghead/pseuds/Freerangeegghead
Summary: "Are you kind of into Karolina? Earlier I sensed vibe," Gert says."By the way, I'd totally support it.""No, I don't. We're just friends," Nico replies."Sure. Friends who eyefuck each other in public.""It's not like that," Nico says. "Besides, even if I was it could never happen anyway.""Why not?""'Cause she's not into me."
Relationships: Karolina Dean/Nico Minoru
Comments: 9
Kudos: 128





	1. Rideshare

**Author's Note:**

> Rating: Rated T ~ M - For themes, mature audience only. No smut.
> 
> Spoilers/Warnings: None.A/U
> 
> Inspirations: Freeform's "The Thing About Harry"
> 
> Why though: We need more queer rom-coms, guys! You're welcome, fandom.
> 
> Disclaimer: Nothing owned, nothing gained, only fiction is mine.

Karolina Dean sits in her Mini Cooper, gripping the wheel and tapping her fingers impatiently as she shakes one leg, glancing at the rearview mirror and side view mirror repeatedly to check if she's coming. She checks the time and sighs.

Karolina glances at her phone, debates calling but then just grabs her phone and calls.

When her phonecall is answered, she says, "Gert! It's 7:30! She's late! I'm leaving now..."

"Karolina?" Gert says, blearily. 

"What's going on?"

Karolina sighs, exasperated. "Nico!Nico Minoru! You said she needed a ride back to L.A. because she's broke? And she has some weird thing about flying? And she wanted to hitch a ride with me?"

"Oh," Gert says, pauses, clears her throat. "Um, maybe she got held up?"

"So...what? Should I just...wait for her? I have a schedule to keep, Gert..."

"Just...wait for her, okay?" Gert says. In the background, Karolina hears someone say,"Hey, babe, is that Karolina? Hey, Kar!"

"Hey, Chase," Karolina says. "Anyway, see you guys at the party!"

"Alright, can't say I'm going to be enjoying it, but got to support the 'rents!" Chase says.

Karolina rolls her eyes. She isn't exactly looking forward to seeing her parents either. She can imagine the awkwardness between her mother, Leslie Dean, her stepfather, Jonah Gibb and her father, Frank, and the papparazzi all around them documenting the exploits of her actor mother and recovering alcoholic actor father as her rich businessman stepfather stands and smirks at all the attention. But one parent pays for her tuition at New York University (how clichèd, Gert had said. The only thing that could make it even more clichèd was if she majored in film or theater but she went in and majored in psychology and anthropology instead, which, to some people's eyes just made her a bit pretentious, she thinks. Psychology isn't even a real science, Chase teases her), the other for her apartment so she doesn't have to be at the mercy of roommates and shared bathrooms, and the other gives her an allowance that at least gives her a chance to eat a decent meal once a week and the rest of the time subsist on ramen and pork and beans and Cheetos and beer. So, overall, the co-parenting works, she guesses? And at least it's better now than when it was before, during and after the divorce, when Frank had walked in on her mom and Jonah, then the hellish divorce procedure and settlement, the custody battle for Karolina, the media circus, trending online...it was enough to make Karolina want to lock herself up in her room for days. She'd chosen her dad then, to Leslie's surprise. She couldn't look her mother in the eye then when she'd told the judge she'd like to go with her dad. It made sense. She was closer to her dad. He'd taken some time off of making movies so he could be with her, and her mother had decided to work more instead. So as her mother took on more and more movie projects and became more and more popular - the year of the divorce she'd been nominated for a Golden Globe and an Oscar for playing the scorned divorced wife (everyone loves a scorned woman, her publicist had said) - Frank Dean took care of her, took her to school, helped her with her homework and school projects, attended the PTA meetings, school events and graduations. They had pet names (he called her buffalo, because he'd teased her about being a giant freak, and she'd affectionately called him 'gator) for each other, had movie nights where they cried over Jack dying in "Titanic" and it was Frank she'd confided to about secret crushes. She'd never had that kind of relationship with Leslie. It made sense it was to Frank she'd come out to in high school because she already knew Frank wouldn't mind. Frank had offered to break it to Leslie for her and Karolina had agreed. But Leslie hadn't even wanted to entertain the idea that her perfect daughter is even remotely gay, is convinced she's doing it to spite Leslie, to get back at her for divorcing Frank and marrying Jonah (which tracks with how selfish and self-centered her mother can be, turning Karolina's coming out into about herself). Jonah, of course, didn't and doesn't care either way, although whenever he sees Karolina, there's a knowing look on his face, as if he knows something she doesn't. If there's something good that came out of her coming out though, it's that Frank and Jonah seem to have bonded over Leslie's weird thing about Karolina's sexuality.  
Anyway, now that enough years and some distance from her parents have given her some time alone, she's better now, at peace with the divorce and having three parents, at peace with everything. There are instances though, like right now, forced to share a ride with someone like Nico Minoru, which kind of screws with her mind a bit.

"She hates me," Karolina had said a few days ago, just before spring break, when Robert Minoru and Janet Stein had announced their engagement, when Gert had mentioned Nico wanting to share a ride with her.

"No, she doesn't," Gert had said.

"She's never liked me,"Karolina had said. 

"No, she doesn't," Gert had insisted.

"C'mon, she always had some sarcastic remark about me, teased me about being such a spoiled, rich, brat," Karolina had pointed out. "And she kept calling me these stupid nicknames like "Hollywood" or "princess" or "Disney" or "white girl"."

"I..."Gert starts to defend Nico, then stops and sighs, throws up her hand. "Alright, you got me there...I don't know what to tell you...maybe she has a crush on you. Had a crush on you. Or something..."

Karolina had screwed up on her face. "What? No. Do you know what she told me the first day of school freshman year?"

"Hey, white girl?" Gert had hazarded a guess.

Karolina had looked at her. "She said, 'That's my seat, bitch, get off or I'll make you get off.'"

Gert had laughed a bit strangely. "Ah, ha-ha. Classic Nico. Haha!"

"Why the hell does she even need a ride?" 

Gert had shrugged. "Dunno. She's broke and she's too proud to ask her parents for money?"

"Why not?"

"Why do you think? Her dad's marrying Chase's mom. She's pissed. Plus she just dropped out of college and she hasn't told her parents yet."

"What? Why?"

"Dunno. She didn't want to do pre-med. Her mom and dad's been dying for her to take over tothe clinic. But she didn't want that. Anyway, they'll be pissed when they find out she doesn't want to be a doctor and probably cut her off. You know how her mother gets. Hell, her mother scares the shit out of me."

"Oh."

"Anyway, are you gonna do it?"

Karolina had sighed. Shit. "Fine. She can ride with me. But she's gonna help pay for gas. And food. And the motel."

"Awesome. I'll text her. See you soon!"

***

It's their parents' fault, she thinks. They unofficially call themselves the Frat Pack: Victor Stein, Chase's father, Dale Yorkes, Gert's father, Robert Minoru, Nico's dad and Geoffrey Wilder, Alex's dad, were all in the same fraternity in college, the Beta Zetas, and the women, their moms, Leslie Dean, Tina Minoru, Janet Stein, Catherine Wilder and Stacey Yorkes, were all in the same sorority in the same university as well. They'd been a tight knit group of college friends who'd kept in touch even after college and marriages and families and kids and success and fame came for them. Leslie had become a successful actor, met, married and divorced Frank Dean, Robert and Tina became successful celebrity plastic surgeons, Victor Stein had a successful chain of retail stores, Janet Stein became a stay-at-home mom, Geoffrey and Catherine Wilder ran a successful talent agency and Dale and Stacey Yorkes had done research on medical marijuana while in the Middle East (on a tip that Afghanistan grew the best weed in the world) created their own genetically modified marijuana and started their own medical marijuana empire, splitting their time between figuring out the business side of their business, donating part of their profits to research and charity, and volunteering and building schools in the Congo, Sudan, Indonesia and other parts of the world.  
When they weren't busy entertaining or operating or researching or doing business, or changing the world and making a difference, the Frat Pack would get together for elaborate holiday dinners or charity balls and catch up on each other's lives.

Their children, obviously, were just sent to the same private school - the same expensive, prestigious one, Atlas Academy, that would guarantee an Ivy League education after high school. That didn't mean though that the kids would get along as well as the parents did. Alex, the nerdiest in the group, barely tolerated the more athletically inclined Chase, Gert and Karolina always bickered, Molly didn't care and Nico disliked everyone.

***  
Karolina decides to gun the engine, then and starts to drive away.

Just then, she hears someone scream behind her, followed by a figure running towards her car and someone thumping on her car.

"What the hell, Minoru?" Karolina asks, incredulous, as she opens the door for her.

"Sorry, I'm late. Got up late."

Karolina glares at her as Nico gets in and buckles up.Nico doesn't seem nearly apologetic enough. Which annoys her even more."You're thirty minutes late."

"I forgot to set the alarm."

"Whatever," Karolina says, as she drives away.

"I promise you though, I have a good excuse."

Karolina sighs and hums, concentrating on the road. 

When she doesn't respond, Nico says, "Well? Don't you want to know?"

"Um..." Karolina pretends to think about it. "No, not really."

Nico grins, leans back and tells her the story.

Karolina already regrets this road trip.

***

Hours later, in which Nico has shed her thick black jacket, removed her boots, and put her stockinged feet up on the dashboard she's telling Karolina the history of her relationships.  
"...Like, I don't get what he wants from me, you know? What, does he want my soul or something? I mean, clingy, much?"

When Karolina doesn't reply, and only focuses on the road, Nico looks at her.

"I mean, right?" Nico asks. "What do you think?"

Karolina makes a non-committal shrug, and says, "Sorry, um, I'm kind of busy and I'd like to get into this whole thing with you about your personal life...but I'd rather not..."

Nico knits her eyebrows. "Uh, why not?"

"It's your life. Whatever I will say won't matter and you clearly don't need or don't care about anyone's advice."

Nico just stares at her, puzzled. Then something dawns on her and she snorts. "Oh, okay, Ms. Psych major. Quit reverse psychologizing me..."

Karolina frowns. "Why would I do that? It would imply I'm actually interested enough to concoct something like that to make you take a long, hard look at your life's choices."

"Oh, I see," Nico says. "You're just being an asshole."

Karolina glances at her. "Why would I be an asshole? When you're the one treating all these people like shit."

Nico stares at her. "Excuse me?" she asks, offended.

Karolina rolls to a stop on the side of the road, and stares at Nico. "Sorry, we're going to lose a bit of time but we're still on schedule, but I didn't want this conversation while I was driving because your sorry excuse of a love life is distracting enough as it is but...were you not the one who dumped this Victor Mancha guy?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Because he wanted to be exclusive?"

"Yeah? I didn't want to just...sleep with the same guy over and over again...monogamy's for losers."

"Sure. Whatever. And this Topher guy dumped you because he said 'I love you' and you couldn't?"

"Yeah?"

"And this other guy, whatsisname? You freaked out because he wanted to spend all the time with you and so you bailed? Or sorry, you ghosted him?"

"Yup. Not my proudest moment, but there you go..."

"Alright. And let's not count the probably countless one night stands you may have had on your way to contracting chlamydia..."

"Hey!"

"And we've got a classic, commitment phobic person on our hands..."

"That's not true."

"Evidence says otherwise, Nico,"Karolina says. "So, that's why I didn't want to talk about it or tell what you what I think about it because clearly you're the kind that doesn't like hearing the truth and I'm not one of those people who'll sugarcoat it for you and just tell you what you want to hear. So, unless you're ready to actually examine why you keep doing what you're doing, I suggest not asking me what I think."

Nico is silent, just regarding Karolina. Karolina just looks at her.  
"That's what I thought," Karolina says. She starts the engine again and drives again.

There's a few moments of silence in the car, and then Nico speaks up.

"I'm...I'm sorry," Nico says.

"What? Why are you apologizing?"

"I'm just...I hadn't seen you in ages and I just started talking about myself and yeah, I get that that would come off a little douchey..."

"It's fine," Karolina says, after a silence. "I'm sorry, too. I get cranky when I haven't had my coffee and stuff. Sorry."

Nico grins. "When we stop for gas, I'm going to buy you coffee."

"You don't have to do that."

"Let me. It's the least I could do. Especially since you'll be driving all the way to Cali," Nico says.

"What, you still haven't learned to drive?"

"Oh, I can, but I crashed the car I was doing my test in so not sure when I'm ever going to be able to drive," Nico says.

Karolina gives her a sympathetic smile. " Sorry to hear that."

"It's fine," Nico says.

"I'm sorry, too,"Karolina says after a bit.

"Uh, why?"

"Well, I shouldn't have said all those things, either," Karolina says. "I hardly know you or the context in which you dumped or were dumped by those guys, so...I shouldn't have judged you too harshly..."

"Well, we should change that."

"Change what?"

"You said you hardly know me," Nico begins. "We should totally get to know each other."

Karolina snorts. "What? Why?"

Nico shrugs. "It's a long ass drive. Plus it's dawning on me now how tragic it is that we've known each other since at least high school..."

"Middle school..."

"Yeah, whatever, and we don't know much about each other," Nico finishes. "Let's start...my favorite color is..."

"Black. Yes, I know. It's what you're wearing now, it's what you usually wear...although is black really an actual color?..."

"So you do know a little about me," Nico says triumphantly. "And your favorite color is...pink?"

"Mauve..."

"Not an actual color..."

"Yes, it is."

"It's a lame ass color." 

"Black is a lame color!" Karolina retorts.

Nico laughs. "Okay, okay...fine. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree..."

A silence ensues then and Nico leans over, fiddles with the radio and Psy's "Gangnam Style" blares out of the stereo.

"Sorry," Nico mumbles, reaching out to change the channel.

Karolina shakes her head, reaches out to briefly touch Nico's hand. The touch seems to electrify Karolina's fingertips and she withdraws her hands, puzzled. Nico seems to have felt it, too, because she briefly stares at her hand then glances at Karolina. Karolina pointedly looks at the road.

"Can you believe this?" Nico finally says.

Karolina looks at her out of the corner of her eye. "What?"

"My dad and Chase's mom engaged..." Nico pauses. "That's got to be, like, the most random pairing ever..."

Karolina doesn't know what to say at first. But Nico doesn't seem to mind.

"Especially since they were, loke, caught in the actual act," Nico continues.

"Seems like a pattern with the parents," Karolina comments, voice carefully neutral, reminded of her own mother's scandalous affair with Jonah. They'd been tabloid fodder for months. Add that to her dealing with her coming out and her teen years were a tough time. She'd been grateful her dad at least was there, even though she'd never want to go through another divorce again. Divorce had a habit of bringing out the worst in people. It definitely brought out the worst in her parents, acting like two lions growling and snarling at each other, circling around Karolina and weaponizing her to get back at each other. She hated being the pawn in their game. When the divorce had been finalized, the last article published, she'd been relieved. She'd forgotten Nico had gone through that, too, although Nico's had been more recent and there'd been less tabloid news over it. Her parents and the Stein had been quiet, refusing to talk to the media. That Robert and Janet had started dating right after the divorce had been finalized had scandalized people but then eventually people had accepted it. And now the engagement.

'Yeah, not looking forward to this engagement party," Nico says.  
"Gonna be awkward as hell." When Karolina only nods, Nico says, "Thanks for letting me catch a ride with you. I didn't want to be there too early. It's just..." Nico closes her eyes, shudders.

Karolina nods. "Yeah, I get that."

Nico takes a deep breath. "I mean I get that my parents weren't happy for a very long time and they deserve to be happy and lord knows mom wasn't an easy person to live with but...it feels weird that dad's going to marry Janet...and..."  
Nico's voice breaks then and she stops, rubs the back of her hand against her eyes angrily, looks out the window and crosses her arms.

Karolina looks at her, not knowing what to say. Eventually, she just reaches out a hand then, puts it on Nico's shoulder and lets it stay there for awhile. Nico closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, leans her forehead against the window and doesn't say anything. Karolina squeezes her shoulder, rubs her arm a bit before she has take her hands away to shift gears.

They ride in silence, as the radio plays some random music from the 2000s and Karolina concentrates on driving.

"So, what about you?" Nico finally asks.

"What?"

"How's everything with you?"

Karolina knits her eyebrows. "Um, everything is such a big, general word?"

"What?"

"I mean, what exactly do you want to know? Like, how am I physically? Psychologically? Sociologically? Emotionally?"

"Don't be a smart ass, Karolina," Nico says, but she's smiling as she says it.

"Well, your question's a bit too general...and anyway, can you really approximate how anyone's actually doing?"

"Romantically," Nico cuts in. "Romantically, I meant." She smirks at Karolina then. "And sexually, too if you want..."

Karolina blushes so furiously at that Nico has to laugh out loud.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Nico says. "You should've seen your face!"

"Yeah, yeah, funny, ha-ha..." Karolina mutters.

"Anyway, are you still with that...Xavin person?"

Karolina's surprised. It feels weird for someone to bring up Xavin's name after all this time. "Um, no. We broke up my freshman year at NYU."

"Wow, I'm sorry to hear that," Nico says. 

"It's fine, her parents weren't too keen on their child dating a lesbian, so...it was bound to happen I guess? Sooner or later..." Karolina shrugs, feeling the faint ache from missing Xavin. Even now, even if they haven't been together in years, she still misses Xavin sometimes.

"Well, their loss, not yours," Nico says and Karolina has to smile at that. "Although that's too bad...you guys were hot together."

Karolina doesn't think too much of that comment. She looks up, sky gray and cloudy. They've have to stop for the night soon, else it would be too dark to see or drive.

When Karolina doesn't respond, Nico says, "I mean, I guess it was pretty bad ass that they asked you out to begin with...I think pretty much half the high school wanted to be you...or date you..."

Karolina makes a face. "What? No. That's ridiculous."

"Yeah, I kid you not. The others didn't know how to ask you out and then this new kid just waltzes in and sweeps you off of your feet. Everyone was amazed."

Karolina laughs. "Didn't know the whole student body was so invested in my love life."

"Oh, we were," Nico says. "I knew I was. Especially since I had such a crush on you in high school."

"Wait, what? That's crazy. You hated me in high school."

"No, I didn't. I mean, I thought maybe I did, but I realized after I came out that maybe that was just me being unable to work out my own feelings about my sexuality. And perhaps also having a tiny little crush on you."

"Wait, you're gay?"

"Um, I don't really like putting any labels on it? If you were going to be technical about it, then I guess I'm bi? Or pansexual? And yeah, that explained the crush I had on you in high school..."

Karolina almost runs the car in a ditch after that.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.


	2. Gouda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit OOC, but figured this is A/U so.

Karolina looks at Nico wondering how she could have missed those signs before she turns to the road.

"What the hell, Dean?"

"Sorry," Karolina says. "Are you okay?"

Nico touches the back of her neck. "Yeah, I think so. You?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

Nico nods.

"Good, let's get going. We have a few more hours of daylight still," Karolina says as she guns the engine and maneuvers the car back to the road.

Nico is quiet for a while before she asks, "What was that all about?"

"What was what all about?"

"You. Driving us into a ditch. Almost getting us killed. With your bad driving."

"Hey! Watch it," Karolina warns her, but her voice isn't serious.

Nico laughs. "Were you freaked out when I told you I had a crush on you in high school?"

"Um, no?"

"Um, yeah, you did."

"No, I did not."

"Yeah, you did," Nico insists, the smile wider.

Karolina rolls her eyes. "Well, you don't need to be too smug about it."

Nico grins."I always imagined how it would be like to tell you that years after the fact."

Karolina laughs. "So, what, you drop that news on me like that and expect me to keep it cool? I thought you hated me."

"I did not hate you."

"Well, what's up with all the name calling and merciless teasing and..."

"I wasn't that bad..."

"You called me an ent," Karolina reminds her. "You also once called me a Redwood tree and you told everyone you felt like a woodland creature when I'm around."

"Well, yeah, I did say that..."

"You also said I shouldn't study, that I should be studied instead...that I'm a freak and a weirdo and..." Here Karolina stops, glances at Nico. "You want me to continue?"

Nico's face is red now. "Oh, my god, I was an asshole." She pauses, looks at Karolina. "Look, I'm sorry. I was a fucked up kid with a lot of issues who didn't know how to handle them and took it out on you. I know I shouldn't have but I did and that's done but I see I was a horrible person then and I've gotten some help since then and part of sharing this ride was actually working up the nerve to apologize to you because I was an awful, awful human being and you bore the brunt of that more than most."

Karolina nods. "Apology accepted I guess. I mean it was a long time ago, so."

Nico nods. "I...also wanted to see if you were still...you know...as hot as I remember..."

Karolina blushes. "And did I disappoint?"

Nico laughs. "Nope, you did not."

Karolina laughs, flattered, but suddenly stops, realizes something. "Oh my god, are you flirting with me right now?"

"Is it working?"

"You told me you just literally broke up with your boyfriend a few hours ago."

"Not technically my boyfriend."

"What?"

"Victor. Not technically my boyfriend. We hooked up a few times. Doesn't mean he's my boyfriend."

"Whatever. Point is, I'm not gonna be some kind of rebound for you, Nico, just to fill up your suddenly empty love life."

"Oh my god, Karolina,chill, I'm just playing with you," Nico says. "You are still the same uptight girl from high school."

"I am not."

"Yeah, you are. I thought coming out as gay and going to some fancy liberal arts college would help loosen up that stick up your ass, but clearly I was mistaken."

"Fuck you, Nico, I'm not uptight," Karolina says.

Nico laughs some more, which infuriates Karolina even more. "You so are...you've got that stick so far up your ass it's literally..."

Karolina stops the car so fast it almost collides with the car following them. The driver angrily honks before driving off, leaving Nico clinging to the dashboard and glad she's wearing a seatbelt.

"What the actual fuck, Karolina?" Nico asks.

Karolina is so red she could be mistaken for a tomato. "Look, Nico. I don't actually have to sit and take this...this...abuse from you. I agreed to take you on as a favor to Gert and Alex who both feel sorry that you've been left out in the cold now that your dad and Janet are getting married. Now, it's a forty hour fucking drive from New York to L.A. and since you can't drive I'm gonna be doing it for, what, thirty two fucking hours more. I'm cold, I'm tired and frankly in need of a hot shower and a warm bed, so I'd appreciate it if you could just not say shit like that in my car."

There's a silence in the car that goes on for a few minutes as cars and trucks wheeze past. Nico is so surprised at the outburst she doesn't know what to say. Finally, she says, in a small voice, "I'm sorry?"

"Shut up," Karolina mutters as she starts the engine and drives off.  
They do not speak for the rest of the day.

***

That is, until they check in a motel for the day. Karolina doesn't speak to her and ignores her when Nico asks which bed she prefers. Karolina makes a bee line for the bed nearest the wall and window, plops down on the bed, closes her eyes, and turns her back on Nico. Nico stands there not knowing what to do, before she rightfully decides to tiptoe out, bringing the keys with her and turning off the lights to let Karolina sleep off her exhaustion.

When Karolina comes to, it's deep into the night, the curtains are drawn, her side of the room is dark, and Nico is quietly on her phone, already showered and in her sleep shirt and shorts, white blanket covering her legs, television on mute, laptop on. Karolina yawns, stretches, prompts Nico to turn and look at her. She sees Nico swallow, hesitate, before she speaks.

"Hey," Nico croaks.

"Hey," Karolina says, softly.

Nico surprises her by jumping up, grabbing some bags from the table. "I...I got you some food." She sets the bag between them, on the bedside table, and takes them out. "I was gonna buy burgers and fries but I remembered you were vegan..."

"Vegetarian..."

"Uh, yeah..."

"I mean, I was vegan in high school but I'm vegetarian now..."

"Oh, okay. Anyway, I went to a couple of restaurants but they didn't serve vegan food," Nico explains, as she hands her what she ordered. "I went to a couple more, no luck. But I finally had some luck with one place. So I bought a salad...and some apples and oranges and a vegetarian pizza..that's, that's all they had. And bottled water...please don't go off on me on single use plastics...we don't have any drinking water so..."

Karolina nods. She pokes into the plastic bag and spots a bag. 

"What's this?"

Nico bites her lower lip, fidgets. 

"Um...gouda...?"

"Gouda?"

"It's cheese..."

"Yeah, I know it's cheese, I meant, why did you buy gouda?"

Nico swallows again, blushes. "Um...it's my 'I'm sorry I was being a dick' offering? I wanted to buy you flowers...but that seemed weird and then I remembered from my women's studies class that they're kind of symbolic vaginas and it would be weird to give you those unless I had a romantic interest in you...which I don't...not that you're unattractive or anything...but like, anyway, I couldn't buy flowers even if I wanted to because all the shops were closed anyway and, you know, see above, so I just bought gouda..."

Karolina doesn't say anything at first, just stares at the gouda suspiciously. 

When Nico couldn't take the silence anymore, she says, "I know you're vegetarian now but do you even eat gouda? I mean, it's...different flavors...there's even jalapeños?"

Karolina finally accepts the gouda and says, softly, "Thank you."

"It's a long ass trip. I know I can be a jerk...but I figured I could still bribe you with some chai tea lattē or frapuccino or maybe even, you know, dinner at the Olive Garden..."  
Karolina smiles.

Nico smiles back. "The point is, I'm sorry and I'll try not to piss you off."

Karolina nods and Nico shoves the salad and a slice of pizza onto Karolina's hands, puts the bottled water beside her.

"Thank you, Nico,"Karolina says, as she takes a bite off of her salad. Then she grins, evil glint in her eye. "Still not going to go out with you, though."

"Dammit," Nico says, mock serious. "And I was hoping I could at least get past first base."

"Don't push your luck."

Nico chuckles.

Karolina grins. "It's cute you think I'll sleep with you but I don't sleep with friends."

"What? Why not?"

Karolina says, "You know people who are friends can't really be lovers right?"

"Why the hell not?"

"Well, it screws up the friendship. You either have bad sex or a bad relationship," Karolina explains.  
"So, I don't really do friends."

"But this is is predicated on the assumption that we are friends,"Nico says.

"Which we are. The moment you started asking what my favorite color is. Or even earlier, when you started whining about your being emotionally unavailable."

"Fair enough,"Nico says. "But, I'm warning you..."

"What?"

"I could grow on you."

"I seriously doubt that."

***

"So, what do you think's gonna happen?" Karolina asks Nico.  
The food has been eaten and discarded, and they're sharing a bag of Cheetos beside them, both lying on Nico's bed, watching Reese Witherspoon after a brief argument about which one is the best Reese Witherspoon movie, and now they're just idly watching it, passing the Cheetos between them.

"What, in the movie?" Nico asks, distracted, looking at Karolina's legs.

Karolina throws her a Cheeto. "Stop staring at my legs, creeper."

Nico grins at her sheepishly. "Sorry, what was that?"

"When we get home. What do you think's gonna happen." 

"Oh," Nico says, scrunching up her nose. "Dunno. Gonna be super awkward, definitely. Officially the other parents aren't taking sides? But...I dunno...obviously I support mom, I'm happy for dad...but Janet..." She shudders. "I don't think she's met a pastel suit that she didn't like..."

Karolina laughs. "I like pastel."

"You would," Nico says with mock-disdain. Karolina just grins. "And ugh, she smells like scented candles all the time."

Karolina makes a face.

"I mean, right?"

"I don't want to judge," Karolina says, "But yeah..."

"Right? It's weird," Nico says. "Plus, everytime I see my dad I can still hear my mom telling my dad he only likes Janet because she gives him blow jobs from the back."

Karolina almost chokes on her Cheetos. "What? What does that even mean? Do I wanna know?" When Nico starts to say something, Karolina says, "You know what, I don't want to know."

Nico laughs. "What about you?"

Karolina sighs. "Well, I'm gonna get to see my dad, so yay. Stepdad is gonna be there, too, so yeah..."

"And your mom?"

"Yeah, her, too."

"Isn't she, like, an active member of that Christian mega-church, Church of Zion?"

Karolina sighs. "Don't remind me." 

Among other things, right after the divorce, her mother suddenly found God and has started religiously going to church, which was one of the reasons she's still in denial about Karolina being gay. She'd also taken to reading the bible only it seems like whenever Karolina comes home for breaks, and has taken to praying loudly when she's around. Karolina hates it when she does that. There's just something hypocritical about it.

"She still not cool about you being gay?" 

"So not cool with it, I can't even," Karolina responds. "I think everytime there's even a hint of it...she kind of...freezes up and low key freaks out?" 

Nico snorts. "Figures."

"Are your parents okay with you being gay?" Karolina asks, curious.

"Dad's fine with it. Mom's...harder to read."

Karolina nods.

"Would be interesting to see how it goes when we see them."

"Yeah,"Karolina says. "Definitely."

"It's too bad you don't wanna date me...like even as a pretend date, that would have scandalized Brentwood," Nico says. 

Karolina just rolls her eyes again and throws her another Cheeto. 

Nico chuckles.

"I'm telling you, Kar...I could rock your world."

Karolina smiles at her and says, softly, "You already have."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like. Thanks for the kudos and comment. This is going to be only a few more chaps. Cheers.


	3. End of the Road

The rest of the trip goes smoothly after that.

Nico convinces Karolina to make a pit stop for breakfast of Belgian waffles and brewed coffee in Pennsylvania.

Nico had laughed when Karolina had ordered the waffles. "Can you put the ice cream on the side, and not on top? And can I have chocolate instead of vanilla? And if you don't have ice cream just whipped cream but only if it's real if it's out of a can then nothing."

Nico had looked at her. 

"What?"

Nico shakes her head. "Nothing. I have never met anyone who orders like you do. You're so high maintenance."

"No, I'm not. I just want what I want."

Nico grins, quirks an eyebrow. "I can see that. And apparently it's not vanilla."

Karolina grins. "Are you taking notes or something?" When Nico only smirks, Karolina says, "Still not sleeping with you."

"I'll wear you down still..."

***

Through the long, three thousand mile, six day drive to L.A., as they pass through fourteen states, and five random motels that cost at least twenty five dollars each, Karolina and Nico amuse themselves with games such as "I,Spy", "Would You Rather," "Never Have I Ever" and a particularly enthusiastic round of "Fuck, marry, kill." 

"I, Spy" had been the most boring, and once they hit the endless expanse of empty highway, there wasn't much to see or "spy" so much so that they switched to other games instead very quickly.

***

"So fuck, marry, kill, Gert, Chase or me?" Nico asks her once.

Karolina thinks about it. "That's hard. Maybe fuck Gert, marry Chase...kill you."

"What? Why?"

"You asked."

"Why would you kill me?"

"It's a hypothetical game, Nico. That's my hypotethical answer." 

"It's just...I thought we were friends...why are you laughing?"

"You want me to say fuck you, marry Gert and kill Chase?"

"So I'm fuck material but not marriage material?"

"Nico, you can't base your self-esteem on a hypothetical game."

"No, I'm not. I'm basing it on your continued refusal to see that if you would just give us a chance, we'd be great together. We'd definitely mesh well."

"I'm sure we will...in the next life..."

"Karrie! Throw me something here.."

"Oh my god, you're like a dog with a bone. Next please..."

"Fuck, marry, kill...Stacey, Catherine and my mom..."

"Nico, what the hell?"

"You asked for this."

"Fine. Fuck Catherine? marry your mom, kill Stacey."

"Whaaaat? You'd kill or fuck me, but you'd marry my mom?"

"Your mom's hot."

"Eewww. Gross. This is a bad game."

"Your idea."

"Next game! Would you rather, fight a hundred duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?" Nico asks.

"What? Why?"

"i just want to know."

"Hmmm...tough question. I'd have to consider all the options. What kind of horse would it be? What is the context of the fight?"

"What are you talking about? Do you want to fight a big ass horse sized duck? Or a hundred duck sized horses? Just...answer the question."

"Fine. I guess...a hundred duck sized horses?"

"Would you rather have fur or scale on your skin?"

Karolina rolls her eyes, and smiles. "Um...fur, I guess?"

"Would you rather live one life that lasts a thousand years? Or ten lives that last a hundred years each?"

"Wow...that's actually a good question. How would you answer that?"

"I dunno. A thousand years, maybe?"

"Yeah, but if you live a thousand years, then you can't ever really fall in love."

"Why not?"

"The people you fall in love will keep dying on you."

"Good point. So I'm guessing you want to live ten lives of a hundred years each?"

"Yup."

"What about, like, if there's someone you fall in love with and you want to see them again? It would be harder if you die and get reborn every one hundred years."

"You mean, like soulmates? I don't believe in stuff like that."

"What? Little Ms. Rainbow Bright doesn't believe in soulmates?"

Karolina nods. "Yup. Don't believe in love, too."

"Shocker!" Nico says with mock horror.

Karolina laughs. "It's true."

"What, don't want all the can't-sleep, can't-eat, heart-beating-fast, butterflies in your stomach shit?"

"Nope.True love doesn't exist. Fight me on this."

"Actually, I agree with you."

"You do?"

"My parents aren't actually great role models of romance."

"Same."

"Great. Something we agree on."

"Okay, would you rather glow like a rainbow glowstick or be able to cast spells?"

"That depends. Does the rainbow glowstick have superpowers?" 

"Flight."

"Then rainbow glowstick."

"Don't want to be a witch?"

"Not particularly, no."

"Why not?"

"Doesn't, like, magic have a price or something?"

"I take it you're not a fan of Harry Potter?"

"No, not really. Actually, haven't even watched it."

" Really?"

"It's true."

"How could you not watch, like, the biggest franchise in the planet?"

"Uh, the MCU would like a word with you."

"Seriously, how did you miss Harry Potter?" 

"I...well, I tried to when I was a kid but...there was never enough time...and I was busy all the time and by then that ship had sailed..."

"Oh, man, we are so watching Harry Potter after this..."

"Oh, my god, no..."

"Yes...you need a movie education. You need a moviecation." 

***

That night, Nico introduces her to the first of the Harry Potter movies after they've checked into a motel. Karolina had blushed when the clerk had said, "We have no the twin bedrooms available but we have the newlywed deluxe suite and you can have it for the sweet off-peak price of twenty three..."

"Oh, we're not..." Karolina begins to say but Nico, grinning wildly, says, "We'll take it."

"Nico..."Karolina hisses as the guy takes Nico's credit card and ID.  
Nico just winks at her and says, "Relax. I won't take advantage of you. I could sleep on the floor if you want."

"You don't have to do that..."

"If it makes you feel uncomfortable..."

"It's fine. You can share the bed with me."

"I promise I'll behave," Nico says solemnly. "I won't even cop a feel."

Karolina just glares at her.

***

Karolina wakes up with Nico's arm and leg wrapped around her, her face burrowed deep into her shoulder. They'd nodded off at the start of the second Harry Potter movie, falling asleep with Nico's limbs tangled in Karolina's, and Karolina wakes up with Nico's face buried deep in Karolina's neck, breathing even and deep, her head on Karolina's arm. Karolina lies like that for awhile, staring at the ceiling, then at the window, watching the slanting rays of the sun play with the dust. The room is plain and beige, old and worn, but it is clean, Nico's jeans, shirt and other accouterments thrown on a chair, the back of the chair and the floor. She settles down beside Nico, enjoys the silence and peace, before her alarm rings and she grabs her phone and turns it off. It wakes Nico up and she stirs beside her, presses her body to Karolina's even more. 

As she yawns and stretches, she looks at Karolina and smiles softly. "Morning,"she whispers, casually rolling away to stretch some more.

"Morning," Karolina greets back as she gets up, glancing once at Nico's leg before looking away. "We have to get breakfast and be on the road before eight. If we plan to check out a bit of Pittsburgh before like you wanted."

Nico nods. "Okay."

***

After a pit-stop at Pittsburgh, they drive through the rest of the states between New York and Brentwood, in California, through small towns, where Karolina insists on buying postcards and posts them to her father, Frank.

"But, why?" Nico asks. "Most towns have perfectly good wi-fi, you can just, like, send photos on messenger or just DM him or something."

Karolina shrugs as she shoves the postcard, Frank's Brentwood address and a note hastily scrawled at the back, to the teller. "I promised Dad I'd send him a postcard wherever I am, so."

"Okay."

***

From Pittsburgh, they drive through Madison, in Wisconsin, then Minesotta, South Dakota, Wyoming, Colorado, Utah, Reno, Nevada before they finally hit the California freeway.

On the way, they hit a Chick-Fil-A in Ohio, a cheese factory in Madison, took some pictures at Jolly Green Giant, grabbed some ice cream at Dairy Queen, posed for some photos at Mt.Rusmore, got lost in Wyoming, walked up a trail at the Rocky Mountain National Park, took some photos of bison and antelope in Utah, then checked out the Salt Flats after, then finally, took a dip in Lake Tahoe over the Nevada California border.

Along the way, they counted too many roadkill, cheered whenever they passed a state welcome sign and had watched at least one or two Harry Potter movie a night, discussing them the day after, on the road, in the middle of their regular session of "Would You Rather" or "Never Have I Ever". 

"Lame?" Nico had asked, incredulously, "You're telling me you think Voldemort, one of the greateat villains ever, is lame?"

Karolina nods. "Uh, yeah."

"Take that back."

"Uh, no. He's lame and Harry Potter keeps defeating him, or rather, Hermione keeps defeating him, so, yeah, he's lame. Also, Hermione is a time traveler. How is the Harry Potter franchise not the Hermione Granger franchise instead?"

Nico opens her mouth to protest but then stops and says, "Uh, got a point there."

"Yep, and also..." Here, Karolina stops on the side of the road, kills the engine.and looks at Nico.

"What?"

Karolina unbuckles her seatbelt.

"Oh, my god, are you finally fulfilling my wet dreams by having roadside sex with me?"

"Eww, no,"Karolina says, making a face. "I'm teaching you how to drive."

It's Nico's turn to make a face. "I'm almost pretty sure you're going to regret that."

***

Hours later, in which Nico starts and stops the car abruptly and so suddenly multiple times, kicking up dust in their wake as Karolina yelps and shouts and grabs the emergency brake more times than she can count. 

"You said to hit the gas!" Nico says.

"Lightly tap, LIGHTLY tap. I didn't say floor it like you're in a Fast and the Furious movie! And what's up with how you're holding the stick?"

"I told you I'm not good with driving stick. What's up with my holding it?"

"You look like you're going to give it a handjob."

Nico quickly lets go of the stick and blushes. She leans back, crosses her arms and angrily stares ahead. Karolina sighs, leans back, rubs her eyes and looks out. They are in the middle of nowhere, with nobody in sight. The sun is shining bright overhead, fields stretching as far ad the eye could see. The silence outside could rival the silence inside the car. Karolina takes a deep breath.

"Look, I'm sorry," Karolina quietly says now. "I...didn't think this was going to be that hard..."

Nico surpises her by apologizing as well. "I'm sorry. Maybe I'm just...a bad driver...And I shouldn't be driving. Maybe I'm just...dumb..."

"Hey, don't say that," Karolina says softly. "You're not dumb. You got into pre-med, didn't you? And you're going to med school after. You pretty much need to be Einstein levels of genius to be in med school, right?" 

Nico turns and smiles. "Not really. Just...smart, I guess. You could be average and still be in med school, I think? You just need to have a good memory, I think."

"Oh." Karolina doesn't know what else to say.

"Besides, I dropped out of pre-med."

"Oh," Karolina says again. She wants to kick herself for her monosyllabic responses. "Why?"

Nico is silent for awhile. Then she shrugs. "I dunno. 'Cause I'm an idiot? I don't have to pay for student loans 'cause my parents are paying for it? And I'd get a six figure income after? Maybe I'm just rebelling?" She sighs, leans back, closes her eyes. "People, my parents have this image of me...this expectation...that I should be the good, smart, obedient, dutiful Asian daughter who, like most Asian daughters, go to med school and become a doctor and get married and have two point five children, get a mortgage and, you know, work myself to death til I croak or whatever and I just..." Nico stops, voice cracking. She angrily wipes her eyes with the back of her hands. "I just didn't think I'd be happy, you know? Like it's going against my grain...kind of like me pretending I only like dudes, you know?"

Karolina nods, waits for her to go on.

"So, yeah. My parents are going to be thrilled I dropped out. Add that to the list of failures I've done. One more thing to disappoint my parents with."

Karolina doesn't say anything at first. But then she says, "But at least you tried, right? You tried pre-med and realized you didn't like it?" When Nico nods, Karolina continues, "I mean trying is better than not trying at all, right? I think that's what failure means. When you don't try, so you don't fail and you never know what it"s going to be like so you live your life never trying and taking chances and playing it safe. Then you'd live a life being unhappy and, and you die wondering what could have been had you tried dropping out and living the life that you wanted." Her blue eyes are boring into Nico's. "I mean, you only live once, right?"

Nico nods, and as they both think about it, a realization hits Nico.  
"Aw, fuck. Guess I have to support my mom, dad and future stepmom's happiness, right?"

"I guess so,"Karolina responds.  
"They deserve their happiness, right?"

"Yup."

"And we only live once, right?" Nico says.

Karolina nods, looking at her and smiling. Nico smiles back. Then the smile disappears as she glances at Karolina's lips and she slowly leans over to Karolina. Karolina instinctively leans back. But Nico only moves to get something from the glove compartment. When she looks at Karolina, Karolina is blushing. Nico smiles innocently.

"Please, just...drive," Karolina says wearily.

***

Karolina patiently teaches Nico to drive for at least half an hour everyday, Karolina on the , left arm behind the driver's seat, body close to Nico, as she instructs her, hand sometimes hovering on Nico's as she shifts gears, and always ready to grab the emergency break when she thinks Nico is about to crash her "baby"as she likes to call her "Mini Cooper". 

When Karolina is satisfied she can leave Nico to drive for a few minutes at a time on long stretches of road (she'd take them to back roads where she can find them) she'd give the wheel to Nico and rest. Sometimes, when Nico is driving, Karolina would watch her, remind her gently to shift gears, or check her lights or her mirror but as Nico drives more, she gets a bit better each time, so much so that Karolina can already close her eyes and nap. She would smile, put a hand on Nico's arm and say, "You're doing great, Nico. You still drive like a fetus on meth but you're getting there."

"Fuck you."

"You wish."

Nico would smile back, feeling her heart flutter at Karolina's smile, at her words, at the brief touches Karolina gives her and makes her smile.

***

A few days later, a couple more motels or so, cups of coffee, pancakes, salads, pizza and whatever they can find and eat on the road, the last of the Harry Potter movies watched and countless arguments later, they arrive in Brentwood exhausted but relieved the trip is over.

They go directly to Nico's dad, Robert and Chase's mom, Janet's engagement party, finding themselves in the middle of a toast from Robert and Janet. 

"Look what the cat dragged in," Chase says, sauntering over with two glasses of wine for both Karolina and Nico, handing one to Nico. 

Nico looks at it, makes a face and says, "Got anything stronger?"

"It is stronger," Chase whispers. "Added a little bit extra into it." He winks at Nico.

Nico mutters a thanks and takes a big gulp as Gert wanders over.

"Oh my god, you guys made it. Didn't think you guys would survive the trip," Gert jokes.

"Why would you say that?" Nico says, as Karolina spots someone, a young woman, grins and waves at her. Nico feels a stab of jealousy deep within her gut as Karolina excuses herself and makes a beeline for the girl.

Gert shrugs, watching Nico watching Karolina hugging and laughing and touching the young woman. "I thought you'd end up killing each other." When Nico just looks at her, puzzled, Gert explains, "Don't you guys hate each other or something?"

"I don't...dislike her," Nico says carefully.

Just then, Karolina comes over, young woman in tow, excited and grinning. "Hey, guys, you remember Xavin?"

"No," Nico says a little too quickly, eyeing the girl coolly before looking her up and down. The girl returns her gaze, unfazed.

"Yeah, we used to date in high school, apparently my dad ran into her and invited her to come because I was coming home," Karolina explains.

"I hope it is okay that I just...came over. I did not want to crash your party," Xavin says.

"No, it's not and yes, you are," Nico says flatly.

"Nico!" Karolina admonishes her.

Xavin just raises an eyebrow and turns to Karolina. "Would you like a drink? I am thirsty."

Karolina nods. "Please. I'd appreciate that."

Nico watches as Karolina puts a hand on Xavin's arm, squeezes and smiles. Gert watches them all with an amused expression on her face.

"What's up with her aversion to contractions?" Nico asks when Xavin leaves

Karolina ignores that and turns to Gert. "Hey, can you excuse us for a sec?" When Gert nods, Karolina puts a hand on Nico and gently leads her a few yards away.

"What's up?" Nico asks, dreading what Karolina is going to say.

"Don't look like that."

"Like what?"

"Like that," Karolina gestures vaguely in her direction. "Like you did something wrong and I'm about to punish you."

"Hopefully with handcuffs...and restraints...and maybe a harness of some kind," Nico quips.

Karolina blushes. "Anyway, I just wanted to say...I had a great time."

Nico feels it then. Karolina is saying goodbye. She feels something akin to sadness, as of something ending. She feels a mixture of feelings but most of all sadness and anxiety. But she smiles and says, "Thank you for giving me a ride. And teaching me how to drive stick."

Karolina grins. "Don't mention it. To anyone."

Nico laughs. "Okay."

Then the smile on Karolina's face fades. "You take care, okay?"

Nico nods. "You, too. Don't... Don't be a stranger." 

Karolina nods back. "You, too."  
Karolina then reaches out a hand as if for a handshake. Nico looks at her hand, hesitates, then takes it, pulls at Karolina and embraces her instead. Karolina awkwardly leans over and hugs her, gangly arms around Nico, her tall frame bent over Nico's frame.

"Oh, a hugger," Karolina jokes as she hugs Nico.

Nico, standing on tiptoe, smiles and closes her eyes, pulls at Karolina tighter. "Yep, you got that right. You didn't think I'd let you go without at least copping a feel right?"

Karolina laughs. "Perv." She then jokes back, "How long are we going to hug? It's kinda awkward hugging you. You're so..."

"Short, I know."

"I didn't say that. I'd describe you as cute. And maybe adorable."

Nico chuckles, reluctantly pulls back and plants a slow, soft kiss on Karolina's cheek. "Thank you, Karrie. For everything...I never thought...anyway I l...I'll miss annoying you..."

Karolina laughs. "Okay. See you around."

Nico watches Karolina as she makes her way back to Xavin. Gert comes over and watches Nico.

"Nico...I hope you don't mind...can I talk to you for a sec?"

"What?"

"Are you kind of into Karolina? Earlier I sensed vibe," Gert says. "By the way, I'd totally support it."

Nico looks at Gert. "No, I don't. We're just friends."

Gert looks at her, unconvinced. "Sure. Friends who eyefuck each other in public."

"Fuck you, it's not like that," Nico says. "Besides, even if I was it could never happen anyway."

"What? Why not?"

Nico shrugs. "'Cause she's not into me. She already told me. Plus...that's...Xavin, right? Her ex?"

"Oh."

They stand there, just looking at Karolina and Xavin laughing and talking. 

"I'm so sorry, dude," Gert says.

"Yeah, you and me both." 

They look at them again, before they start mingling with other people, guests, their parents. That night, Nico sleeps with some guy from the party but all she can think of is blue eyes and blonde hair and lips on Nico's and what it would feel like making love to Karolina instead, making her come and feeling her cling to her, naked and warm and hers. But she is reminded they can never be more than they already are and Nico sighs, rolls over and tries to sleep, dreaming of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so it ended up like roadtrip? More show, don't tell? And less exposition. Thanks for reading, comments/kudos welcome. Cheers!


	4. Friendship, Actually

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, fandom! How are ya? Are you in quarantine, too? 
> 
> We are in quarantine right now and so had some time to figure this one out. 
> 
> Hope you like and if you're in quarantine, hope it takes your mind off the quarantine, even for a little awhile. Happy reading!

"Dude, hey, I'm bored, talk to me."

Karolina blinks, turns on her side, yawns and pulls at her blanket as she puts the phone to her ear. "Nico? What the hell? It's four am."

"Sorry...I just pulled an all-nighter, I'm hopped up on caffeine, I can't sleep so..."

"So the logical thing to do was call me?" Karolina asks, cutting her off, annoyed. "I have finals in the morning, Nico."

"Sorry, sorry," Nico apologizes. 

"How'd you even get my number , anyway?"

"Um...Gert? Sorry."

Karolina sighs with resignation. She's going to kill Gert. "It's fine. This better be an emergency, Nico or I'll kill you," Karolina says. 

Nico pauses. "Uh..."

"I'm hanging up," Karolina announces.

"No, no, please, Karrie..."

At Nico's tone, Karolina stops, her expression softens.

"What?"

"Um...I told my parents..."

It takes Karolina a moment to process that before she realizes what it means. She sits up. "You mean...you told them you dropped out of pre-med."

"Yeah," Nico says, sighing. 

"How did they take it?" 

Nico pauses. "Dad was okay with it. But mom went ballistic. She was so pissed."

Karolina nods, even though Nico can't see her. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"She was particularly pissed it took me all this time to realize I didn't want to be a doctor...after they've spent so much money on me...it's all about the money."

"Isn't it always?"

"Yeah. Which I don't understand. I took a gap year after high school, so they only lost two years worth of money..."

"Knowing your mom, that's still a lot of money."

"And yet, two years' worth of money would be nothing for her, considering how much the clinic earns."

"So, what, did your mom cut you off or something?"

"Looks like it. Dad's going to help, I guess, but don't know how Janet's going to feel about that, considering everything's going to be conjugal now."

"Aren't they going to have a prenup?"

"I think so. Considering everything that's happened, I think they're probably going to have one of those."

"Yeah. Hey, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Well, I had to tell them anyway sooner or later. Had to happen sometime."

"Sucks though. Is there anything I can do?"

"Um...no? The pleasure of your company...and your pretty face are enough."

Karolina laughs. "You're cute." Silence ensues. Karolina grows serious. "What are you going to do now?" 

"I dunno," Nico says. "Go back to Cali, I guess. Figure out my next move. Maybe get a job in the meantime. Definitely move out of the house. Dad says I can stay, but it's gonna be weird with Janet there. And there's no fucking way I'm moving in with my mom. Living with her would be like the second circle of hell."

Karolina chuckles. "I could see that."

"And yet you'd still choose her over me any day."

"For fuck, marry, kill, Nico. C'mon. Get over it."

"Alright. But I'm so good in bed, Karrie..."

Karolina just laughs. "Has any girl or boy ever fallen for your oh-so blatant come ons?"

"Well, yeah," Nico replies, mock offended.

"Do they ever actually work?"

" I'll have you know I've never had any trouble getting anyone to bed before I met you..."

"Oh, really?"

"Yep. I've never actually had to work this hard before."

Karolina chuckles. "Try harder."

"I am. Apparently my charm isn't working on you."

"That's because I'm not easy. Or cheap."

"Ouch. Did you just imply the people who sleep with me are easy or cheap?"

"Your words, not mine."

"I'll have you know, one of them has a bright future with the NBA."

"You told me he thought he had ESPN 'cause he could read your mind."

"Well, there was that girl who has a bright future in meteorology."

"You told me she wanted to be a weather girl 'cause she could predict the weather with her boobs."

"And what great boobs she has!" Nico says with a laugh.

"Well, there you go then. I'm so not your type, Nico. I'll probably just disappoint you. I'm not some blonde bimbo with a nice rack or ESPN."

"Shut up. They were good in bed, okay? As am I."

"I'm sure you are but you need to figure out what you'll do next..."

"Right. Job. New apartment. Something or other."

"Have you totally made up your mind about dropping out though? I mean, dropping out of pre-med doesn't mean you have to drop out of school entirely...there are other degrees, you know."

"You and my dad, seriously."

"Your dad said the same thing?"

"Yeah, he says he's okay with me dropping out of pre-med. As long as I stay in school, he's okay with it. Offered to pay for it."

"He has a point. I mean, yeah you can get any job now sure, but nothing that's going to lead you where you want to be. At least with a degree, you could have something to fall back on."

Nico sighs. "Yeah, I guess you're right. You sound like my parents. Are you secretly an old lady in a young woman's incredibly hot body? I mean, mom, is that you?"

Karolina laughs, blushing, thankful Nico can't see her. "Yeah. My dad's convinced I'm some old soul or something..."

"Yeah, you drive like one definitely," Nico says.

"...And she's back. Wondered how long it would take for you to bring that up, considering you drive like psychopathic toddler."

"Wow, that's an upgrade from fetus on meth," Nico jokes. "So, um, how about you? You've got finals tomorrow?"

"Yup, finals. Thesis defense in a few. Graduation after."

"What the fuck? Overachiever."

Karolina sighs. "Hardly. I just want to finish school now and get on with my life."

"What are you going to do after college anyway?"

"Dunno, actually," Karolina replies, flopping back on the bed and thumping on her pillow so she could be more comfortable. "Probably go to graduate school."

Nico laughs out loud.

"What?" Karolina asks, puzzled.  
"Your idea of moving on with your life after college is going back to school?"

"Uh, yeah, what's wrong with that?"

"Nerd much?"

"Fuck you. It's just so if I end up teaching I'd be more prepared."

"So you want to teach?"

"Yeah, I think I'd like to. Maybe grade school or kindergarten or something like that."

"Oh, yeah, I could totally see you doing that."

"Yeah?"

"Totally. I think you'd be great with kids. You're certainly good with me. And my mom has repeatedly told me I act like an overgrown child."

Karolina laughs. "Yeah. I'd had practice. Six days with you is enough." 

"I thought you'd swear off being around kids after me."

"Nope. Quite the opposite. I feel like it would be totally cool to mold young minds and stuff."

"Was this before or after you successfully taught me to drive like a fetus on meth?"

"Before. Way back high school actually. I wasn't sure if my parents would go for it. I think they kind of maybe low key expected me to get into the family business and be an actor, you know?"

"And you didn't want to? Wouldn't that have been easier though?"

'Oh, with my mom and dad's connections? Not to mention Jonah's?"

"Yeah, that."

"Yeah. It would've been but...I wouldn't have to worry about getting an agent and getting work and meeting with producers and directors and actors and stuff like that. Plus after metoo, I think Hollywood's been super careful with how they deal with everyone but 'me too' also kind of turned me off of Hollywood. Something about having to audition and sell yourself to the producer and director that just smacks so much of peak capitalism, you know? Plus, if I fail it'll be because of my parents and if I succeeded it'll be because of them, too. And I want to be able to make it on my own, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that."

"Yeah?"

"Sure. I think deep down that's the reason why I don't want to follow in my parents' footsteps. I mean, they're like, the best of the best. What if I let them down? What if I, like, perform some surgery on some woman and fuck it up? What if I'm not good enough?"

"Hey, hey, hey," Karolina whispers, soothingly, shushing her. "Don't think that. You are good enough. Always."

"Not according to my mom, I guess," Nico says. "For the longest time, I just kept...getting compared to my sister, you know?"

"Your sister? I didn't know you had a sister..."

"Yeah, she died when I was young. Car accident. Apparently she was some kind of Mozart levels of child genius."

"Oh. Wow, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be. I don't even remember her." Nico says. 

"Actually, when I was growing up, my deepest, darkest, most fervent wish was that I'd been born an only child. Does that make me a horrible person?"

Karolina shakes her head. "No. It makes you human. You were a kid. A kid who'd probably been compared more times than she can count to her dead older sister that she can never live up to, so, yeah."

"Right? Fuck."

"Nico...is that...is that why you had a thing about driving?"

There's a silence on the other end. "I...yeah...yeah...probably."

"Wow, there's so much to unpack in that statement."

"Yeah. Actually I've got to say thank you for helping me conquer that particular fear..."

"I was going to apologize about that actually. If I'd known..."

'If you'd known...you'd have pitied me and babied me and you'd have driven the hundreds of miles from New York to Brentwood all on your own... You'd have been tired...I couldn't let you do that...your tough love was actually what I needed."

"Um, okay."

"You're lucky you're an only child."

"No, not lucky at all," Karolina says with a sigh. "I get lonely. My parents were always away and I was raised by nannies and tutors and more nannies...all I had was...myself. And I went to school and it was more of same, you know? Plus people have this thing about blondes which I never get? Like I'm this pretty but dumb blonde who just happened to have won the genetic lottery ticket, so..."

"Wow, that sucks," Nico says. She sighs. "High school was fucked, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was. Plus I was also coming out and it was all a confusing time, you know?"  
There's a silence on the other end. "Karrie, I know I've said this before but I can never stress this enough, so sorry for the way I've treated you in high school."

"Like I said, I'm over it. I didn't know you were living in the shadow of a sister you can never live up to, so."

"Anyway, this conversation just got dark. So."

Karolina chuckles. "Yeah."

"So...you like kids, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"You think you might want them some day?" Nico asks. "Possibly with me."

"Nico," Karolina laughs. "You are relentless."

"That's how I'll eventually wear you down, Karrie," Nico half-jokes. After an awkward silence, Nico clears her throat and says, "You? Graduate school? In the spring? In NYU or Columbia or what?"

"Dunno. I'm probably moving back west actually. I'm so over these winters, honestly. I miss the sun and the beach and the droughts and the smog..."

Nico chuckles. "Wanna move in together?" she teases.

"Um, no," Karolina says. "You've never even asked me out on a date and you're asking me about kiss and moving in together? I know your bi but that's too gay...even for me."

Nico laughs out loud. "Fine. Do you want to go on a date then?"

Karolina grins. "I'd love to, but...Xavin? So..."

"Aaww, fuck. Your contraction-averse ex is now your, what, ex ex? Are you back together?"

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"We're...working things out, I guess. Taking it slow. We're not...back together per se....but I guess we're a little bit together...?"

"What? How can you be a little bit together? That's not a thing."

"Yes, it's a thing, Nico."

"No, it's not. It's like saying you're a little bit pregnant. You're either pregnant or not. You're either back together or not."

"Well, it's complicated."

"What are you, a facebook relationship status?"

"Fuck you." Karolina is silent for a moment."I sense a vague dislike of the ex ex?"

"Not vague, that's pretty clear. It's utter disdain, actually."

'Nico."

"Karrie. If I were Xavin, I'd be with you yesterday. Like the first moment I see you."

Karolina stops. Takes a deep breath. Something has changed in Nico's tone and Karolina doesn't know what to say. It isn't told as a joke. It is pointed and full of something else. "Nico..." She finally says.

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. Xavin sucks."

"She's actually pretty nice. Give her a chance. Beneath her aversion of contractions beats the heart of a sensitive, romantic person."

"I'm a sensitive, romantic person."

"You're commitment averse, Nico, you can't call yourself sensitive, romantic if you just told me you forgot your three month anniversary."

"Who the fuck celebrates a fucking three month anniversary, Karrie?"

"Fine, fine. Anyway, I'm going back west, getting certified, getting into graduate school, start teaching. The stepdad's offering me a job in the meantime, so."

"Need any help with the moving?"

"Nah, got a u-haul for that, which, as you know, is very gay of me."

"And is Xavin moving in with you?"

"No, actually. She's enlisting, if you can believe it."

"What? Why?"

"No idea. I mean, she's explained it, but still don't get it. That's what's making it complicated."

Karolina moves around again, yawns, reaches for the hem of her shirt and takes it off as she talks to Nico.

"What's going on? Why is your voice muffled."

"Taking off my..."

"Panties?"

Karolina rolls her eyes. "Shirt, Nico."

"Wow, is that...portentous or just noteworthy?"

"No, it's just me deciding to get up, take a quick shower and get ready for my exam in two hours since it's clear you have no plans of letting me go back to sleep."

"I'm so sorry, Karrie."

"No, you're not."

Nico snickers. "No, I'm not."

"You could at least get me breakfast or something," Karolina says. "Since you've so rudely interrupted my beauty sleep."

"On it. Lemme guess, something something salad with pickles, I bet?"

Karolina stares at her phone. "No. Do you not know me at all?"

"Uh-oh. You must be pissed."

"No, I'm not pissed."

"Yeah you are. Sometimes, when you start skipping contractions and enunciating your words, I know you're on the verge of being pissed."

Karolina laughs. "Just...no pickles. Pancakes are fine. And some coffee. I need that if I'm going to pass my finals." 

"Actually we could just get breakfast somewhere. Like McDonald's, there's one near your campus."

"Okay."

They agree on what time to meet and she goes to take a shower.

***

Later after the first batch of grueling exams, Karolina heads to McDonald's, enters the restaurant and scans the crowd for Nico. 

When Nico spots Karolina, Karolina lights up and Nico feels her heart pound fast, butterflies fluttering in her stomach, as she waves at her. Any cocky word she has dies on her lips as she stares at Karolina from across the room, in her tight jeans and blouse and jacket, running a hand on her blonde hair as she makes her way towards her, a few people, some of them Nico guesses are students in NYU, giving the tall, young woman an appreciative glance. When they see her stop infront of Nico, lean over and kiss her on the cheek as Nico shyly gets up to meet her half-way, trying not to flush from the attention, Nico could see, not without a little satisfaction, how disapppointed some of the guys were. When Karolina turns, she pretends to be cool about it, trying not to be smug, even though she wants to be. For the nth time, she wonders briefly what it would be like to have Karolina as her girlfriend and a pang of longing washes over her. She pushes that down quickly.

"Wow," is all Nico says then, looking Karolina up and down, eyes appreciative, a smirk on her face.

Karolina blushes. "I take it you see something you like?"

Nico nods with a grin, and hands her her breakfast. "I didn't know what you'd like so I got pancakes, hash browns, a salad? coffee...?"

Karolina grins, leans over and says, "Thanks, Nico. You're a lifesaver."

Nico smiles back, watching Karolina reach for the hash browns as a growing tenderness for the other woman washes over her. She swallows. What the fuck is wrong with her? She swallows, clears her throat. "Actually...I...bought you breakfast because I need to ask you a favor..."

Karolina raises her eyebrows. "Uh-oh. Sounds serious."

"Um, well, that depends..."

"Okay. Go on..."

"Could you...go to my dad's wedding with me?"

***

Karolina stares at Nico. "What? Why?"

Nico shrugs. "I...I know I can go on my own or whatever. But I'm the maid of honor? Which I begged them, repeatedly, not to do? But apparently, Janet can't just get Leslie? Or Catherine? Because then mom would be pissed? Like it's some kind of betrayal or whatever? 'Cause they're all sorority sisters or something? Which I don't get? And it would be weird to ask some other friend to be maid of honor without the others getting jealous? So apparently, it's me. And I need someone to, like, help me get through all the awkwardness of having my dad marrying Janet Stein and now having Chase as my stepbrother and Gert and molly as future in-laws...and maybe have Stacey and Dale be part of the family, too. And I know you're a little back together with Xavin so I figured it would be okay."

Karolina is quiet.

"So?"

"So, what?" Karolina grins clearly enjoying Nico's discomfort.

"Don't make me beg, Karrie."

"Oh, that's exactly what I'm doing."

"Fuck. Fine. What do you want?"

Karolina shrugs. "Dunno. This is just too...juicy." She considers Nico for a moment, tilts her head and smiles, her pretty blue eyes twinkling with merriment. "Does this mean if I do this, you'd owe me and I can collect the favor in future?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely."

"Okay. I have to check with Xavin...but I think it's okay."

"Oh, Xavin, yeah." Nico deflates, reminded there's a third party in the equation. Fucking Xavin. Ugh.

"But I think she'll be okay with it. And also, you owe me. Big time."

"I know."

"Alright, fine. I'll go. On one condition."

"What?"

"Dial down the innuendos."

"Aw...but that's the best part..."

"Not with my Christian mom and Xavin around, you're not."

"Fine." When Karolina smiles, Nico smiles back, but then her smile disappears. 

"What?"

"There's one other thing."

"What other thing?"

"Just, don't laugh, okay?"

"I'll try..."

***

"So, let me just get this straight,"Karolina begins. "You want me to go with you, back to Cali via the means of...plane?"

"Um," Nico hesitates. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Um, because...I have an irrational fear of flying?" Nico says. "I know. You think I'm a badass, but travelling isn't my strongest suit..."

"You are unbelievable." When Nico just smiles uncomfortably, Karolina rolls her eyes. "You're gonna owe me big time."

"Yeah, I know, you can collect any time, Karrie."

"I mean, huge, Nico. Huge."

"Yeah, I understand."

"Fine."

***

After that breakfast, they continue to talk to each other. Usually, Nico would call and Karolina would answe and the calls would last long into the night.

"I have exams, Nico, I have to study," Karolina would usually say. 

"You're always studying," Nico would say.

"I'm graduating!"

"Exactly."

"Well, not everyone can just...be as chill as you are about, well, not finishing school."

"Low, Karrie, super low."

Karolina laughs, finding herself liking how Nico calls her. "Sorry. But seriously, I need to study.

Nico sighs. "Okay, fine."

Karolina catches the tone in her voice and sighs back.  
"What now?"

"I just...there was a guy standing infront of me today at Starbucks who knew exactly what he wanted and I found myself wishing I were as lucky as he is."

"Starbucks? Didn't you say you've started um, austerity measures since your mom cut you off? Shouldn't you be skipping the Starbucks run?"

"Just...give me Starbucks, okay? It's my one thing. I like Starbucks because the whole point of Starbucks is for people like me with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low fat, non-fat, whatever. So people like me, who don't know what the fuck they're doing or who on earth they are, can, for only $3, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self. Tall. Decaf. Cappucino."

Karolina is silent, not knowing what to say, and finally she drops her forehead on her study desk and silently groans.

"Hello, you there?" Nico asks.

"Yeah, I'm here, Nico."

"So, what do you think?"

"I don't know, Nico. You got me."

"What? You're the psych major..."

"I won"t psychoanalyze you, Nico. That feels weird, somehow."

"Well, then just be a friend, then. I need a friend right now."  
Karolina's face softens. "Are you depressed?"

"Um...no? Yes? I don't know...I just...sometimes I wonder about my life...I lead a small, insignificant life. Well, not small, maybe, but definitely insignificant and sometimes I wonder, like, why do I even exist? Why do I even go on living? Why did I make the choices I made? Did I do it because I liked it? Or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I've done feels like something I've read in a book or watched in a movie or heard in a song and I wonder...shouldn't it be the other around? I do stuff that's worth writing about?"

Karolina listens, knits her eyebrows. "Um, wow, that's...that's deep, Nico."

Nico snorts. 'Yeah. I'm just starting to panic. I'm nearly broke and the thought of asking my dad for money just feels humiliating and...whatever. Anyway, I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void."

"Oh, okay."

"What about you? What are you up to?"

"Well, now that you mention it, your void speech has just thrown me in a sudden, deep existential pit of despair."  
Nico laughs, despite herself. "Sorry."

"It's fine. You wanna talk about it?"

"Um, no, not particularly. I'd much rather ask you, if you were trapped in some biosphere dome for two years, who would you bring: Time Magazine's Woman of the Year or Playboy's Playmate of the Year?"

"Wow, tough. Time's Woman of the Year stuff is kind of like the Oscars...kind of meaningless and useless except for that one time they let that Korean movie that deserved the Best Picture award..."

"Parasite..."

"Yeah and also what if I get, like, Hillary Clinton or Greta Thunberg?"

"Great choices.'

"Right, but neither actually, um, are, you know, attractive?"

"Karolina! For shame! Are you telling me you're just as shallow as the rest of us?"

"But one is like my grandmother and the other's young enough to be my angry baby sister, so...and I wouldn't choose the Playmate of the Year either. I'd probably be bored within the hour...so the answer is neither...."

"Oh, boo...party pooper..."

"Nope and you''re avoiding the issue..."

"I know..."

Karolina hesitates, then she says, voice soft, "It's going to be okay, okay? You're going to get through this."

"Promise?"

Karolina chuckles softly. "Promise." They fall silent for a moment before Karolina says, "Hey, I've gotta go, okay. You take care, yeah?"

"Yeah, you, too. And Karrie?"

"Yeah?"

Nico hesitates, uncertain what to say next. "I...um...I just wanted to say I..." She stops, unable to continue. "Um, I've never been good with feelings and generally having them..." At this Karolina laughs. "But, it means a lot, that you're there for me, okay? So, um, thank you, for putting up with my crazy. If you ever need me or whatever, you just let me know."

Karolina smiles. "I care for you, too, Nico."

"Eeww...gross."

Karolina laughs. "Bye,Nico."

"Bye, Rainbow Bright."

"Bye, Nico."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like it? Kudos and comments much appreciated.


End file.
